February 9, 2009
It's not about me
Extraordinary
I need to die to myself and live against it
Awakening
My Jesus, who is Savior and Restorer, loves me
Extraordinary
I long to be reverent before the Holy God
Awakening
Awaken to the call of Christ today, people
He longs to pursue you
He chases constantly, passionate and ready to catch
Let Him capture you in His arms and take you away
To a place of refuge and adventure
Allow Him to captivate you and remind you
Of who you have been called to live and die for
Don't let church be the one place you show up
For Him
Cherish every day that you get to wake up and
Spend more time staring at creation
So....live in extraordinary excellence
Move and speak and breathe and work and study
For Him
Love Out Loud
Laugh Out Loud
Live Out Loud
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Scared of Dating...There I Said It
September 15, 2008
I'm scared of that big, big word. So many meanings behind it...attachment, commitment, detachment, potential love, potential break up, marriage, intimacy, short term, long term, guy loves girl, warrior loves warrior princess, guy finds girl, guy steps up and asks girl out, etc. So many thoughts!I don't know what to do with them all. I know I am twenty years old and have never dated. Yes, I will repeat it....I AM TWENTY YEARS OLD AND HAVE NEVER DATED. I'm talking about any kind of dating. I've been asked out three times in my life, yes. I've said "no" to all because I wasn't "ready." Whatever that means. Celebrating my singleness has never been a problem for me. I love it! The Lord has done stuff in me that may not have happened if I had been dating or in a relationship at the times of such "stuff."Please understand this, though...I'm tired of being bitter. Yes, I've been bitter. Oh, how bitter I've been. I have become this witch, who brings every guy under the radar and dissects everything about him. I apologize. I was not created to act or think in such a way. I was created to be a part of a beautiful community with guys and girls. Because I have never dated, I have built up this wall around my heart: guarding it and isolating it. I was NEVER called to isolate my heart. I was called to guard it like the guards do at buckingham palace. (Prov. 4:23) People are allowed to look inside the Palace. They may not stay for long but they're allowed to look. Why can't I understand this? Dating is not a bad thing! It's not an end-all. It's not something that will hinder me, if done in accordance with His will. Oh, how He loves me. I'm amazed. He has proven His love every day to me, just by waking me up and sayin, "hey, kid. I love you." My worth will never be found in a man's eyes: no matter who he is to me. I am deemed beautiful and worth far more than rubies by my King and that's enough. It is not a sin, though, to accept the compliments of another's affection. It is not a sin to desire to hear the words "you're beautiful" come from a guy that is special to you in your life. Here it is, loud and clear...DATING IS AWESOME. Haven't ever experienced it but I know it is because I know some beautiful couples who have shown me what a true and pure dating relationship looks like. Complementary and powerful; Understanding and loving. Its built up from a foundation rooted in His love. I, honestly, don't know what this message is about. It's a declaration, sure. It's a sigh of relief, yes. More than that, though...I want people to know that they're not alone in their worries. I am freaked! I can't let my fear hinder me or provoke me, though, into isolating myself any longer. I want to date! lol This isn't a cry-out note saying, "come and get me, boys!" It is a declaration for all those who need to hear this one truth: THE LORD LOVES YOU ENOUGH TO PUT YOU IN SPECIFIC SEASONS FOR SPECIFIC REASONS. ACCEPT ALL OF THEM: Dive in to that single life, Dive into that new relationship and say "yes" when he asks you out. Be cautious. Guard your heart. Make sure he's His and make sure He's a warrior. After that, let Him take you where He wants you to go Holla
I'm scared of that big, big word. So many meanings behind it...attachment, commitment, detachment, potential love, potential break up, marriage, intimacy, short term, long term, guy loves girl, warrior loves warrior princess, guy finds girl, guy steps up and asks girl out, etc. So many thoughts!I don't know what to do with them all. I know I am twenty years old and have never dated. Yes, I will repeat it....I AM TWENTY YEARS OLD AND HAVE NEVER DATED. I'm talking about any kind of dating. I've been asked out three times in my life, yes. I've said "no" to all because I wasn't "ready." Whatever that means. Celebrating my singleness has never been a problem for me. I love it! The Lord has done stuff in me that may not have happened if I had been dating or in a relationship at the times of such "stuff."Please understand this, though...I'm tired of being bitter. Yes, I've been bitter. Oh, how bitter I've been. I have become this witch, who brings every guy under the radar and dissects everything about him. I apologize. I was not created to act or think in such a way. I was created to be a part of a beautiful community with guys and girls. Because I have never dated, I have built up this wall around my heart: guarding it and isolating it. I was NEVER called to isolate my heart. I was called to guard it like the guards do at buckingham palace. (Prov. 4:23) People are allowed to look inside the Palace. They may not stay for long but they're allowed to look. Why can't I understand this? Dating is not a bad thing! It's not an end-all. It's not something that will hinder me, if done in accordance with His will. Oh, how He loves me. I'm amazed. He has proven His love every day to me, just by waking me up and sayin, "hey, kid. I love you." My worth will never be found in a man's eyes: no matter who he is to me. I am deemed beautiful and worth far more than rubies by my King and that's enough. It is not a sin, though, to accept the compliments of another's affection. It is not a sin to desire to hear the words "you're beautiful" come from a guy that is special to you in your life. Here it is, loud and clear...DATING IS AWESOME. Haven't ever experienced it but I know it is because I know some beautiful couples who have shown me what a true and pure dating relationship looks like. Complementary and powerful; Understanding and loving. Its built up from a foundation rooted in His love. I, honestly, don't know what this message is about. It's a declaration, sure. It's a sigh of relief, yes. More than that, though...I want people to know that they're not alone in their worries. I am freaked! I can't let my fear hinder me or provoke me, though, into isolating myself any longer. I want to date! lol This isn't a cry-out note saying, "come and get me, boys!" It is a declaration for all those who need to hear this one truth: THE LORD LOVES YOU ENOUGH TO PUT YOU IN SPECIFIC SEASONS FOR SPECIFIC REASONS. ACCEPT ALL OF THEM: Dive in to that single life, Dive into that new relationship and say "yes" when he asks you out. Be cautious. Guard your heart. Make sure he's His and make sure He's a warrior. After that, let Him take you where He wants you to go Holla
Extreme Word Vomit of a Spiritual Nature
July 12, 2008
In the silent storms of this uncomfortable life
I can hear Your whispers and Your screams
Calming all winds and giving me
A new Hope that allows me to desire You more
I see You in my struggles
Gently caressing me with words
And spurring me on to fly
As hard as the eagle and as soft as a hummingbird
I won't give You my heart
I won't
If it means I have to lose Everything that's inside,
I won't
I hear Your sadness
In lieu of this rejection
I don't comprehend it
I seem to not care
I daily claim that I am Your's
But if my heart is truly not in those nail-scarred hands
Then, how much of me is really there
In those hands so broken?
I confess my sin and my fault, o God
You deserve more than this
You deserve more than my confessions
You deserve more than my all too small praises
Let these words
Spill from these pages and
Pour into Your hands
Like a washing of these Scarred instruments that
You yearn to use for Your glory
Take from me
Every idol
Every desire
Every fantasy
Burn it all in the fiery pits of my past
I declare myself
To be rid of this self-oriented nature
Lord, don't allow me
To think that this life
Revolves around the name that you've given me
Let me hurt because
You have taken away
Let me cry because
I no longer feel my SELF inside
Let me love You As Your Son so Unselfishly loved You
No more expectations
No more fantasies
No more dreams of my own doing
Be my One Desire
In the silent storms of this uncomfortable life
I can hear Your whispers and Your screams
Calming all winds and giving me
A new Hope that allows me to desire You more
I see You in my struggles
Gently caressing me with words
And spurring me on to fly
As hard as the eagle and as soft as a hummingbird
I won't give You my heart
I won't
If it means I have to lose Everything that's inside,
I won't
I hear Your sadness
In lieu of this rejection
I don't comprehend it
I seem to not care
I daily claim that I am Your's
But if my heart is truly not in those nail-scarred hands
Then, how much of me is really there
In those hands so broken?
I confess my sin and my fault, o God
You deserve more than this
You deserve more than my confessions
You deserve more than my all too small praises
Let these words
Spill from these pages and
Pour into Your hands
Like a washing of these Scarred instruments that
You yearn to use for Your glory
Take from me
Every idol
Every desire
Every fantasy
Burn it all in the fiery pits of my past
I declare myself
To be rid of this self-oriented nature
Lord, don't allow me
To think that this life
Revolves around the name that you've given me
Let me hurt because
You have taken away
Let me cry because
I no longer feel my SELF inside
Let me love You As Your Son so Unselfishly loved You
No more expectations
No more fantasies
No more dreams of my own doing
Be my One Desire
The Single Life
April 1, 2008
This note is not for the weak...It's not for the sensitive...It's not for the easily offended.Ya'll, this is MY heart. I am speaking from my experience with the Lord. From this note, maybe others will be touched by it but really this is a declaration, if nothing more...Read it and rejoice, read it and weep...I don't careRead 1 Corinthians 7. It's all about marriage v. the single life. Paul is hysterical! He's honest! You can tell he loves being single! In v. 33-35, he talks about how "single people are concerned with the Lord's affairs." He loves talking about the benefits of being single. But! He encourages marriage for those who "can't control their passions," etc. LAUGH!!!!!!!!! Do ya'll know how awesome that is? Marriage is a channeling of the passions. The single life is a passionate life lived as well, just not with another person. So...The purpose of this note is this: I love being single. Yea, I will admit: I WANT a man in my life one day. I want kids. I want to go on grand adventures with a man who will steer me straight toward the Lord's arms. I want to fight battles with a man and serve my God with him. I want a man who will be a leader in the church and who won't be afraid of challenging things when the church isn't as Truth-based as it should be. Beyond this desire, though, is a need for a Savior who will keep me alive in Love; who will consume me with His will so much so that the desire for a man is nonexistent. This year (my sophomore year at Texas A&M University...whoop!) I have learned so much about the Lord's will, the embodiment of it in my life and the sheer existence of it around me. I have seen its harshness and its beauty. It drives me to wake up everyday and to live the piece of it that He wants....It's hard. It's hard to live this will when I doubt His hands guiding me; when I feel like I'm about to fall; when I feel that my life can't be lived without this guy seems...It's hard. But, as it says in 1 Corinthians 1:9," God is...faithful."I want you to realize something: YOU, Warrior Princess of the Most Awesome and Holy Army, DOES NOT need a MAN. (vice-versa for the warriors) Just like Paul says, this is not an anti-dating/anti-marriage statement. This is a reminder. You will not find your worth in a relationship with a man. You won't and you can't. To all the people in relationships: praise the Lord! Continue to concern yourselves with the Lord's plans FIRST and let the rest fall under that...The Lord puts those special people in our lives to be encouragers, companions, best friends, and guides...but they can't give us worth or value. Please know that the Lord LOVES marriage. He doesn't want you, though, to be obsessed with the potential idea of it in your life. He wants you to cherish the life that you have as a single woman and embrace His will. There are no guarantees in life and it's a falsehood to say that we are ALL guaranteed husbands and wives. Please don't be searching for that special guy. If the Lord does have someone for you, He will bring him to you, no questions asked. We're stubborn. We get lonely. We're women with spaghetti-shaped brains. Men, you have waffles for brains so don't be hatin! lol Please know that each one of you is beautiful and full of grace, poise, depth, and worth. None of this comes from the man at your side or the man that's coming. The Lord loves you and wants the best for you. DON'T GO LOOKING! Trust Him. Test your faith. Test your willpower. Serve your brothers and sisters in Christ and let the Lord guide you...Again, this is a delcaration of my total rejoicing of the single life. This is also a note claiming that my God knows me, loves me, and has me. I will always be His, married or not...I love you, people, whether ya'll are in relationships or livin out the single life.P.S. The only ABSOLUTE thing in this life is His love. He will take away what He has given and He will give what you did not want. Just go with His flow...yo :)
This note is not for the weak...It's not for the sensitive...It's not for the easily offended.Ya'll, this is MY heart. I am speaking from my experience with the Lord. From this note, maybe others will be touched by it but really this is a declaration, if nothing more...Read it and rejoice, read it and weep...I don't careRead 1 Corinthians 7. It's all about marriage v. the single life. Paul is hysterical! He's honest! You can tell he loves being single! In v. 33-35, he talks about how "single people are concerned with the Lord's affairs." He loves talking about the benefits of being single. But! He encourages marriage for those who "can't control their passions," etc. LAUGH!!!!!!!!! Do ya'll know how awesome that is? Marriage is a channeling of the passions. The single life is a passionate life lived as well, just not with another person. So...The purpose of this note is this: I love being single. Yea, I will admit: I WANT a man in my life one day. I want kids. I want to go on grand adventures with a man who will steer me straight toward the Lord's arms. I want to fight battles with a man and serve my God with him. I want a man who will be a leader in the church and who won't be afraid of challenging things when the church isn't as Truth-based as it should be. Beyond this desire, though, is a need for a Savior who will keep me alive in Love; who will consume me with His will so much so that the desire for a man is nonexistent. This year (my sophomore year at Texas A&M University...whoop!) I have learned so much about the Lord's will, the embodiment of it in my life and the sheer existence of it around me. I have seen its harshness and its beauty. It drives me to wake up everyday and to live the piece of it that He wants....It's hard. It's hard to live this will when I doubt His hands guiding me; when I feel like I'm about to fall; when I feel that my life can't be lived without this guy seems...It's hard. But, as it says in 1 Corinthians 1:9," God is...faithful."I want you to realize something: YOU, Warrior Princess of the Most Awesome and Holy Army, DOES NOT need a MAN. (vice-versa for the warriors) Just like Paul says, this is not an anti-dating/anti-marriage statement. This is a reminder. You will not find your worth in a relationship with a man. You won't and you can't. To all the people in relationships: praise the Lord! Continue to concern yourselves with the Lord's plans FIRST and let the rest fall under that...The Lord puts those special people in our lives to be encouragers, companions, best friends, and guides...but they can't give us worth or value. Please know that the Lord LOVES marriage. He doesn't want you, though, to be obsessed with the potential idea of it in your life. He wants you to cherish the life that you have as a single woman and embrace His will. There are no guarantees in life and it's a falsehood to say that we are ALL guaranteed husbands and wives. Please don't be searching for that special guy. If the Lord does have someone for you, He will bring him to you, no questions asked. We're stubborn. We get lonely. We're women with spaghetti-shaped brains. Men, you have waffles for brains so don't be hatin! lol Please know that each one of you is beautiful and full of grace, poise, depth, and worth. None of this comes from the man at your side or the man that's coming. The Lord loves you and wants the best for you. DON'T GO LOOKING! Trust Him. Test your faith. Test your willpower. Serve your brothers and sisters in Christ and let the Lord guide you...Again, this is a delcaration of my total rejoicing of the single life. This is also a note claiming that my God knows me, loves me, and has me. I will always be His, married or not...I love you, people, whether ya'll are in relationships or livin out the single life.P.S. The only ABSOLUTE thing in this life is His love. He will take away what He has given and He will give what you did not want. Just go with His flow...yo :)
Just A Prayer
April 30, 2007
Lord,I'm sorry. I'm sorry that the focus of my life, lately, has been impressing people. I'm sorry that I have not sought to please you through any of the areas of my life. Lord, I heard your cries today. I don't know how but a knife just pierced my heart. Lord, I only have 1 1/2 weeks to make myself vulnerable on this knowingly lost campus. I thank you SO much for my brothers and sisters who press on with me in serving our fellow Ags, but Lord, it's not enough. You want us to have full attention on you. You want us to hear YOUR plans for YOUR people in their fullest form. Lord, like soldiers before battle, we need to be justly equipped and de-briefed about what is to come. Lord, your plans are perfect and even though we like to screw them up so many times, you are always Faithful to carry them out in different ways. Lord, I don't want to impress my friends. I only let them down and they let me down. Lord, you died for a reason. You died for me. I don't cherish my life like I should. Lord, I recognized your love for me and your saving grace eleven years ago and I committed myself to you but I still don't feel that I live out my committment to you. You deserve a grand throng of people with hands lifted up, praising ONLY YOUR NAME, and only Your power. You deserve an entire campus of students, who bow down completely before your throne and chant, "Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty." You deserve your people marching over an entire globe, ready to fight for any lost soul that hasn't decided who they want to spend eternity with. You deserve 100% committment from every single follower. You don't get that, Lord. I know you don't 'cuz I don't see that and I don't feel that within me. Why? Why do we have to be so weak and humane? Why don't we have to fail at so many things? Lord, do you gain glory from our failures? I know it says in your Word that you do, but it's so hard to grasp. When I fail, Lord, I want to cry. Not b/c I failed you. I cry because I've failed people who see me on a daily basis; who help me with projects, when I don't have an ounce of energy or projection to give; who encourage me when I can't encourage them 'cuz I'm too selfish; who don't do anything but listen when I've failed 3 tests and have to drop a class; who compliment me for planning a coffeehouse yet are disappointed when I soak all the glory up that my heart desires...Lord, you deserve the compliments, the praise, the glory that should drip from your very Name. Lord, I don't want RUTH ANN COOPER to be on a pedestal above Your's. Lord, your Name should make men and women fall to their knees in reverence. Your Name should immediately send us out on a campaign to free souls in bondage of sin. I want to use my sword! I want to battle demons and win! Lord, with 1 1/2 weeks left of school, I believe that you can change this campus. I believe that you can rally us up as a body, not an organization, that will equip, challenge, and grant victory. I pray that you would dissolve all boundaries between organizations. I pray that you would make all names of organizations disappear. Lord, I want to serve the people on this campus with only your Name coming from my mouth. Is this possible? I know that through you all things are possible, but am I too much of a hindrance to myself? Strike me down if I should go before you. Lord, go before me! Use me! Teach me how to live humbly and without glory. I love you, Lord, and I don't care if this note offends. I don't care if people read this. I just wanted to write something public and without barriers. Your Name be Praised at Texas A&M
Lord,I'm sorry. I'm sorry that the focus of my life, lately, has been impressing people. I'm sorry that I have not sought to please you through any of the areas of my life. Lord, I heard your cries today. I don't know how but a knife just pierced my heart. Lord, I only have 1 1/2 weeks to make myself vulnerable on this knowingly lost campus. I thank you SO much for my brothers and sisters who press on with me in serving our fellow Ags, but Lord, it's not enough. You want us to have full attention on you. You want us to hear YOUR plans for YOUR people in their fullest form. Lord, like soldiers before battle, we need to be justly equipped and de-briefed about what is to come. Lord, your plans are perfect and even though we like to screw them up so many times, you are always Faithful to carry them out in different ways. Lord, I don't want to impress my friends. I only let them down and they let me down. Lord, you died for a reason. You died for me. I don't cherish my life like I should. Lord, I recognized your love for me and your saving grace eleven years ago and I committed myself to you but I still don't feel that I live out my committment to you. You deserve a grand throng of people with hands lifted up, praising ONLY YOUR NAME, and only Your power. You deserve an entire campus of students, who bow down completely before your throne and chant, "Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty." You deserve your people marching over an entire globe, ready to fight for any lost soul that hasn't decided who they want to spend eternity with. You deserve 100% committment from every single follower. You don't get that, Lord. I know you don't 'cuz I don't see that and I don't feel that within me. Why? Why do we have to be so weak and humane? Why don't we have to fail at so many things? Lord, do you gain glory from our failures? I know it says in your Word that you do, but it's so hard to grasp. When I fail, Lord, I want to cry. Not b/c I failed you. I cry because I've failed people who see me on a daily basis; who help me with projects, when I don't have an ounce of energy or projection to give; who encourage me when I can't encourage them 'cuz I'm too selfish; who don't do anything but listen when I've failed 3 tests and have to drop a class; who compliment me for planning a coffeehouse yet are disappointed when I soak all the glory up that my heart desires...Lord, you deserve the compliments, the praise, the glory that should drip from your very Name. Lord, I don't want RUTH ANN COOPER to be on a pedestal above Your's. Lord, your Name should make men and women fall to their knees in reverence. Your Name should immediately send us out on a campaign to free souls in bondage of sin. I want to use my sword! I want to battle demons and win! Lord, with 1 1/2 weeks left of school, I believe that you can change this campus. I believe that you can rally us up as a body, not an organization, that will equip, challenge, and grant victory. I pray that you would dissolve all boundaries between organizations. I pray that you would make all names of organizations disappear. Lord, I want to serve the people on this campus with only your Name coming from my mouth. Is this possible? I know that through you all things are possible, but am I too much of a hindrance to myself? Strike me down if I should go before you. Lord, go before me! Use me! Teach me how to live humbly and without glory. I love you, Lord, and I don't care if this note offends. I don't care if people read this. I just wanted to write something public and without barriers. Your Name be Praised at Texas A&M
January 22, 2007
Tears fall down my face as I sit in my car and listen to a song by Jeremy Camp.I have just spent a couple of hours at Sweet Eugene's, pouring out my heart on a piece of paper that will be read and weighed in a couple of days.At the coffeehouse, my thoughts were dead weight. Nothing was coming. I was praying and praying but the Lord was not speaking to my heart. So, I began to read from His Word. I read Romans 3: talking about the gift of salvation. I read Matthew 3: talking about his baptism and love. I read from Colossians and John...Then, He started pouring into me. I don't know when and I don't know how. All I know is within ONE AMAZING, GOD-APPOINTED hour, my application was done. I read through it and was utterly in awe of how much the app. represented me and all of the hidden thoughts that weren't coming out. I prayed and thanked the Lord. I got into my car and drove back home. While driving, I started to talk to my Savior: praising Him for every good things that's gone on today and every sucky thing that saddened me. I started to cry...I am so unworthy to be filling out an application to lead the class of 2011 next year. I am so unworthy to think that I can even comprehend His love for me. He is SO Worthy, and yet I can never ever give Him the praise that He deserves. I am too gross to sit in His presence yet He sends down His beatiful and sweet Son so that I can. Blood and tears saved me. Tears were strewn tonight and I pray that they will save others through the power of his blood. God is Good and Great and I will sing to my Adonai.
Tears fall down my face as I sit in my car and listen to a song by Jeremy Camp.I have just spent a couple of hours at Sweet Eugene's, pouring out my heart on a piece of paper that will be read and weighed in a couple of days.At the coffeehouse, my thoughts were dead weight. Nothing was coming. I was praying and praying but the Lord was not speaking to my heart. So, I began to read from His Word. I read Romans 3: talking about the gift of salvation. I read Matthew 3: talking about his baptism and love. I read from Colossians and John...Then, He started pouring into me. I don't know when and I don't know how. All I know is within ONE AMAZING, GOD-APPOINTED hour, my application was done. I read through it and was utterly in awe of how much the app. represented me and all of the hidden thoughts that weren't coming out. I prayed and thanked the Lord. I got into my car and drove back home. While driving, I started to talk to my Savior: praising Him for every good things that's gone on today and every sucky thing that saddened me. I started to cry...I am so unworthy to be filling out an application to lead the class of 2011 next year. I am so unworthy to think that I can even comprehend His love for me. He is SO Worthy, and yet I can never ever give Him the praise that He deserves. I am too gross to sit in His presence yet He sends down His beatiful and sweet Son so that I can. Blood and tears saved me. Tears were strewn tonight and I pray that they will save others through the power of his blood. God is Good and Great and I will sing to my Adonai.
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