Extreme Word Vomit of a Spiritual Nature

July 12, 2008
In the silent storms of this uncomfortable life
I can hear Your whispers and Your screams
Calming all winds and giving me
A new Hope that allows me to desire You more
I see You in my struggles
Gently caressing me with words
And spurring me on to fly
As hard as the eagle and as soft as a hummingbird
I won't give You my heart
I won't
If it means I have to lose Everything that's inside,
I won't
I hear Your sadness
In lieu of this rejection
I don't comprehend it
I seem to not care
I daily claim that I am Your's
But if my heart is truly not in those nail-scarred hands
Then, how much of me is really there
In those hands so broken?
I confess my sin and my fault, o God
You deserve more than this
You deserve more than my confessions
You deserve more than my all too small praises
Let these words
Spill from these pages and
Pour into Your hands
Like a washing of these Scarred instruments that
You yearn to use for Your glory
Take from me
Every idol
Every desire
Every fantasy
Burn it all in the fiery pits of my past
I declare myself
To be rid of this self-oriented nature
Lord, don't allow me
To think that this life
Revolves around the name that you've given me
Let me hurt because
You have taken away
Let me cry because
I no longer feel my SELF inside
Let me love You As Your Son so Unselfishly loved You
No more expectations
No more fantasies
No more dreams of my own doing
Be my One Desire