Blog of Dreams

I don't know if anyone reads this and I honestly don't care. I just love writing, thinking about the Lord clicking on the Blog part of my mind each day and reading what I want to tell Him. Yes, He already knows but He enjoys my act of wanting to talk back.

So, Lord, I want to share what I believe You've put on my heart, in regards to the constant stream of wild dreams that run rampant in my heart. You have taken so many away and it hurt. But, the dreams you replace them with are so much sweeter and I praise You for Your knowing Hands.

Dream One: the Coffeehouse. It's never dissolved or faded. It's increased in wildness, grown in size, and been shared with many. You, through many of my wonderful friends of all kinds, have shared their support, their anticipation, their desire to help. I believe this is You, All-Knowing God, urging me to continue. To keep putting one foot in front of the other as I think about the business...the community...the idea.

Dream Two: Counseling/serving/ministering to movie stars. The world says I can't. The world says that Hollywood is too far gone. The Kirk Camerons don't exist anymore and the ones who have tried just fail and die away. God, you are BIGGER! You love Angelina and Jennifer and Sandra just as much as You love me! We all laugh at their abuses, divorces, and deaths but when our friends go through things like this, we cry and run to our hurting friends. What's the difference?!!! God, You've been building on this dream as I've researched centers and facilities. You've added to the burden on my heart DAILY as I read about Sandra's problems and Lady Gaga's brokenness. I don't need a counseling practice. I really have a passion to take a couch, put it on a street corner, and ask for You to move the Brads and the Roberts and the Jennifers to sit on my couch and cry out. How can I go?

Dream Three: Serve the nations. I want to be a missionary, Lord. You called me to this long ago. But, I KNOW that I am not called to go with an agency or org. that labels me "MISSIONARY" upon first steps on walking into a different nation. I want to go as a businesswoman, traveler, counselor, etc. I want to go and set up camp somewhere, intending to just LOVE ON PEOPLE. That is my intention, agenda, and desire. I don't go to convert and leave. This is how some feel led to do it and I praise You for their calling but I know that I want to share You with people long-term in cities beyond my understanding. I want to set up a business, hire a bunch of crazies, learn how to love them, and just let You do Your work. Community...

Dream Four: Great American Road Trip. Research routes. Buy an SUV that loves the road and loves me. Get a dog that would love to sit in the back with the cooler, camera, and art supplies and just go. Go meet people. Go hear the stories of brokenness, life, and beauty. Go share with people what You've done in my life and maybe see an impact made. Visit coffeehouse after coffeehouse and just talk to the owners, the regulars, etc. and continue to work on my coffeehouse dream, too.

Dream Five: Be a woman of faith who is grounded and rooted in love. Be a traveler who gets to live in Boston, Italy, Australia, England, E. Europe, Nashville, Los Angeles, Seattle, etc. and then one day, continue the adventure with a husband and kids whether we continue to travel or settle down somewhere getting to travel with intentionality and teach our kids that way. Not just doing vacations but going places for a longer period of time and learning about You in a culture.

Dream Six: Never stop craving adventure. Wherever I am, just getting to make whatever adventure I can.

I am a Dreamer. A Holy, Wild, Adventurous Dreamer who longs to chase her Jesus around the world. I picture this globe sitting in front of me and there's little colored tabs that pop up where I am to go. I only see one now but in a couple of weeks, I'll see a new tab pop up and I know that's where I'm to go next. Then, after a while, a new tab pops up and that'll be my green light to move on. Then, more and more pop up until more people are looking with me for new tabs. New directions. New adventures. It's not just about I'm where I'm to go. It's about why. It's about who I'll meet. It's about who I'll go and be and live with. It's about You: the One who has this BIG DREAM of bringing Your Kingdom to Earth. It's about Your Dream of seeing Your kids piecing together Your Dream with their individual Dreams. It's about Your passion for Your people to unite and accomplish adventure together in sweet community, Holy matrimony, and beautiful unity.

What dreams, o God. What dreams such as these.

What words, o God. What words such as intention, beauty, community, and craziness.

What desires, o God. What desires such as these can from a Dreamer like me?

They don't. They come from You and I give You the glory for what You will do.

These are not mine. They can be given. They can be taken away. May I set my heart on You, so that when they are taken, I will not mourn but rejoice when I see You doing something new.

[Heart giggles. Muscles tense. Eyes dance at the thoughts...]